Since secondary school, those friends that not so really close to me said that I always looked down. And what I always posted on Facebook was always negative status.
And now my lecture said to me that next time be more positive.
Actually I had notice this very early, and I try very hard to be positive to me and to everyone around me. But being positive is not as easily as you thought in my case. Being positive can't be learn or follow someone's behavior, it's like growing a plant, how you take care of it, how it grows and shape.
I raise by my parents (ya I'm blaming my parents again...) using tradisional method, which means that if you never listen, scold and punish are the best way yo let you know. They didn't aware that these action was always make me depressed, especially during my secondary school when I started to have my own though. I feel like I can't do anything well in the past. And I think now I'm still feel like that.
So for the side effects of this, I became afraid of failure, and can't make important decision(this is serious and meant to me). And I am timid and afraid to get scold, so if someone rise his voice and talk to me I'll be very scared. Well, no girls will like a timid guy, right?
I try very hard to train all my confidence back, but as I mention earlier, it's already became a part of my life. It's rooted in me myself.
But still, I will try to be as positive as possible :D
No comments:
Post a Comment